Foreign Parts

À AIMER: July 13 in France — the firemen's ball

Most Francophiles know about July 14, Bastille Day.  But they don't always know about July 13, the night of le bal des sapeurs-pompiers (the firemen's ball).  This Monday, all around France, firefighters will host their annual fundraising fête for anybody who wants to join l'équipe in drinking, dancing and perhaps nibbling a merguez sausage or two until the wee hours.

The boots (see above) come off for this often-raucous event that, depending on the firehouse, might feature handsome pompiers performing rehearsed — or impromptu — stripteases. The first year I attended, I went to the firehouse in the Marais, where it seemed all of the single women and men in le quartier had gathered in order to find a fireman to call their very own.  Alas, given the ratio of pompiers to citoyens, most attendees went home disappointed.

À AIMER: picnics along the Seine

This week, France's new restaurant tax went into effect, lowering the TVA (taxe sur la valeur ajoutée, or value-added tax) that restaurant owners pay the French government from 19.6 percent to 5.5 percent.  In theory, this should translate into cheaper bills for diners.  In theory.  So far, though, the French press has reported that very few cafés and restaurants have lowered their prices.  Some restaurateurs have said that they are using the tax savings to hire more help, while others have explained that they are busy reprinting new menus and, well, what with vacations looming, this could take a while. Ahem.  

For summer visitors who would like to save on meals right now, I suggest heading to the banks of the Seine, the Canal Saint-Martin or the Canal de l'Ourcq, where Parisians go when il fait beau.  Hit the morning markets or one of the city's great foodie streets (for example, rue Cler in the seventh arrondissement, rue Montorgueil in the second, or rue de Lévis in the seventeenth) during the day, pick up a bottle of chilled rosé en route, and don't forget to pack a couple of glasses and un tir-bouchon (corkscrew).

Voilà — une pique-nique à la française, not at all cher (expensive), and the view cannot be beat.  Enjoy.

À DÉTESTER: the hell walk

Welcome to the Hell Walk, also known as le trottoir roulant rapide (the rapid moving sidewalk) at la Gare Montparnasse. It was installed in 2002 and has mostly been en panne (out of order) since —which is actually a good thing.  Why?  Because the super minds who designed it thought that it would be practical if the 180-meter-long trottoir rolled very quickly, at the pace of three meters (9.84 feet) per second, in order to save busy commuters time.  

I rode it once, on the one occasion in seven years that I've witnessed it working, and nearly fell backward onto mes fesses (look that one up).  According to the French press, I wasn't the only person to lose my footing on the thing, which was designed so that passengers first stepped onto a slow-moving belt and then were jetted onto the fast-moving trottoir. Grannies, children, even able-bodied young men fell victim to the infernal contraption, which ran (and looks) like something out of a Stephen King novel.  

Soon, though, the Hell Walk will be replaced by a slower-moving trattoir roulant — if, that is, you consider 2011 soon. In the meantime, you can enjoy the non-moving rapid moving sidewalk at your own pace.